Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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