you guys were way drunker than both of me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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