Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
