i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
