you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
