but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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