The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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