u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize