I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
