Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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