Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
