In the future we'll all be gay
I hate all girls vehemently.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
