How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
