Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
