3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
