Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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