Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
