I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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