Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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