I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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