So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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