That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
