I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i think my cat just said my name.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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