I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
do nipples grow back?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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