now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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