one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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