We named our party play list daddy issues
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
