they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
