No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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