Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is Oprah even human
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
