Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
