she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
