You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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