are you still at the devil's house?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
