Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
