OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
