Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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