She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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