we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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