Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize