I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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