there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
