mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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