Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize