I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
