With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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