you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
