hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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