Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
