i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
