Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.