i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.