before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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