hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
