We named our party play list daddy issues
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize