it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
