'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
