i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
