Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize